This website should only be accessed if you are at least 18 years old or of legal age to view such material in your local jurisdiction, whichever is greater. ![]() Images: Shutterstock (This is a confession of a girl who had been laughed at and ostracised by her friends in college because they believed that she was a lesbian.You are about to enter a website that contains explicit material (pornography). But I still have the sketch I made-a shy girl with fierce eyes that dared people to do the unthinkable. It’s been almost twenty years since I last saw her. We never chose that moment to step into the bathroom of a girl's hostel together. I never wanted to know why she wished to see me naked. We all go through phases in life when we are curious about a lot of things-a girl may be curious about the body of another girl, but that doesn’t make her a lesbian, even if they take a bath together. Someone in the hostel might have seen us stepping out of the bathroom. It was only after a few days that we discovered what was going on-we were being called the lesbian couple. Did people stare at us for a little longer than necessary? Did the girls stopped talking when we reached the stuffy common room? We had no idea. Next day as we reached college, we knew something was different. But we were not prepared for what followed. The thought of touching her never crossed my mind although we stood next to each other for thirty long minutes under a shower. I wanted to draw her neck that met her shoulder in a delicate curve. The stretch mark on my back only made me look darker. The stretch mark in her thighs glistened like silver when she poured water over her fair legs. We were alike in our imperfections-her left breast was bigger than the right, I had a bigger right breast. The small bathroom was filled with studied silence. I always took a bath before having lunch, and I was preparing to go to the bathroom when she asked me nonchalantly, “Do you still want to draw me?” I still didn’t reply. It was one of those days when you skip classes because it’s so hot that you don’t dare to step outside. IConfess: A shower that turned me into a ‘lesbian’ On a humid July afternoon, months after that conversation, we were watching a movie together. Sometimes a question is best left unanswered. ![]() “Don’t you think it’s only fair that I should see you naked too?” she asked. She thought I wanted to draw her nude (and I didn’t correct her). But that came with one condition-she wanted to see me naked. She stared at me for long before agreeing to be by muse. One day I told her how much I love drawing and would like to sketch her. It helped that we both came from a small town and were staying in the same hostel. Attending anatomy classes together and spending long hours over big fat books inside an eerie library decorated with skeletons brings people closer. We didn’t even know how we became friends, let alone best friends. ![]() I admired her just like the way Van Gogh admired the starry night. Not because I was a lesbian, I didn’t even know that there was such a word and I still fancied boys. When I first saw her in our anatomy class, I knew that I had to draw her, hide her between the pages of my sketchbook. But I dreamt about becoming a painter, to heal the world with colours, not with medicines. I wanted to be a doctor because that is what I grew up replying whenever someone asked me about my ‘aim in life’. ![]() And it was weird because we were both girls, young and impressionable, who were still pursuing their dreams and education to become a doctor. Sounds like a cliché, but I never imagined that I would share a shower with my best friend.
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